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Woof Wednesday: When Pets Hate Your Soulmate

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Who would you pick? The pet or the date?

When love is in the air, everyone’s happy, right? So why did the cat hiss and baptize his shoes? What’s up when your dog growls at his voice? Why can’t your pet love your soul-mate as much as you?

And if your new soul-mate says, “CHOOSE, it’s ME or the PET…” what’s your answer?

Any change of routine can threaten your pet’s sense of security. When you spend time with your new love, the dog or cat misses you and feels lonely–and you smell weird, like that stranger! Dogs and cats often feel proprietary toward their owners and take offense at new people invading their territory.

After all, our dogs and cats love us unconditionally. They don’t care if we have bad breath, or had a bad day at work, or we change our socks. Actually the Magical-Dawg is a sock fanatic and the more aromatic the better! Puppies show their love in any number of ways. And adult cats and dogs show love in surprising and sometimes annoying ways–like chewing up your favorite shoes or peeing on the pillow.

Angry Blue Eyed Grey Cat

I’ve heard from readers with some amazing stories about pets ‘dissing’ their owner’s significant others. Even a couple stories about a pet telling on an unfaithful relationship. On the other paw, I also know pets can bring people together and become furry matchmakers. Heck, our dogs and cats want us to be happy and it’s not surprising pets think THEY are the key to that happiness. Hey, we include them in our birthdays and holidays, right?

In fact, my colleague, best-selling author Eve Adamson understands this about pets and is writing an article about including your dog in your winter holiday festivities in creative ways. She’s looking for dog owners to interview but wants to talk to non-writers.  She says, “Could be anything from making up a dog stocking to marching in a holiday parade or caroling with dog or whatever.” You can contact her about your doggy festivities at

Back in April I posted an Ask Amy video on the topic of pets and date hate that drew so much attention, I had to write an article about it. The key to getting pets to switch on the fuzzy love is to turn that STRANGER DANGER moment into adoration by romancing the pets, too.

How would you do that? Bribes? What floats your pet’s boat? Have you had successes (or failures) with pets in your romantical experiences?

Check out my latest Paw Nation article, where you’ll find tips to convince the cat and dog to welcome him–or her–into the family. And here’s a re-run of that Ask Amy video that got all the attention, enjoy!

I love hearing from you, so please share comments and questions. Do you have an ASK AMY question you’d like answered? I’m nearly ready to record a bunch of new ones, so be sure to get your requests in the comments. Stay up to date on all the latest just subscribe the blog, “like” me on Facebook, listen to the weekly radio show, check out weekly FREE PUPPY CARE newsletter, and sign up for Pet Peeves newsletter with pet book give-aways!

About amyshojai

Amy Shojai, CABC is a certified animal behavior consultant (dogs/cats), award winning author of 30+ pet care titles and thrillers, and spokesperson to the pet industry.

13 responses »

  1. As always, loved your blog, Amy, one of the few I read. My take on my pet is I always listen. If I bring someone home, or the kids bring someone home, and the pet doesn’t like them, I take a closer look at the guest.

  2. Years ago, when I started dating what would turn out to be my first husband, my cat of 10 years took an instant dislike to him. Bit him in the head repeatedly at night and peed in his overnight bag multiple times. Enigma had never done this before. Turns out the cat was onto something. After 2 years of marriage, we were divorced and the cat and I lived happily ever after. And…he never had an issue with my new beau. 🙂 Sometimes…kitty does know best…LOL…

    Great advice on overcoming kitty jealousy. 🙂 Would have never thought of the sock/smell trick but I bet it could help.

  3. Pingback: Woof Wednesday: When Pets Hate Your Soulmate « Amy Shojai's Blog « Pets Answer

  4. Ooo, my Mainecoon has not liked the men in my life. When I first brought him home at 6 weeks, it was just the two of us. Then I started dating a guy, and my kittie loved him. Then said guy broke up with me, and my kittie saw my silly twentysomething self absolutely devastated. Then the boy and I got back together, and the first morning after he came back over to my house, my kittie had peed on the spot of the couch where boy had been sitting. The two were never the same. Then we broke up again – this time for good.

    Then enter my current guy – my kittie attacked him once when he was hugging me. Actually dangled from my guy’s hand as he stepped away from me, scarring my guy. The first five years of our relationship, my kittie didn’t like him. Oh, it was kinda funny but sad at the same time. He’s VERY protective of me. Now, three years into us living together, my kittie has had to just get over it. They get along better now, but I wouldn’t say they’re friends. 🙂

    • Wow, Tiffany–a cat attack is a serious and potentially dangerous issue! I’d say the guy is a keeper if he wasn’t scared off! LOL!

      With some pets, just like people, it can be love at first sight (or hate at first sight) and the best we get sometimes is for them to tolerate each other.

  5. Not having any pets right now I don’t have those issues. But, I have had cats in the past that
    absolutely hated the guys I was dating. I just put it down to jealousy. They were green eyed for a reason! >:)

    • Shellie, since kitties are such routine-monsters and hate change, it makes sense that they’d object to anything new…especially an interloper in their territory. After all, cats “allow” us to live with them, not the opposite. *s*

  6. My little Angel loved everybody. But when I was holding her (which she wanted 24/7), she would get irritated if someone approached us. She would turn her little face away and try to ignore them. I figured out she was afraid they were going to take her from my arms.

    Animals are so funny. I do think they have a sixth sense about people–who is good and who is bad.

    • Awwww….probably didn’t want to make eye contact and have to “engage” in some way or another. *s* I do think animals know more about us sometimes than we give them credit.

  7. a couple of cats tried to warn me against a false friend. now I listen to the cats. the case (in which a relative’s cat didn’t like her husband-to-be) that I thought was an exception to that rule turned out (many years later when they divorced) not to be…


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